habibiti: (Default)
( Sep. 20th, 2009 11:06 pm)
Habibi has been weird for weeks. We got into a fight on Monday that ended in tears and revelations, or so I thought. Though we haven't fought again things are tense. I can feel it in the air just being in the same room as him. I can't tell if he's just wrapped up in his own thoughts and feelings (which is fine) or if he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. (Not so fine.)

Tonight he went to a meeting on campus that is supposed to be a few hours long. 5 hours later I finally get a message saying he got 'caught up' and is on his way home now. This whole thing is making me sick to my stomach. It's 11 p.m. I have a 9 a.m. class and a 7 a.m. wake up time and I'm sitting up, awake, acid churning in my stomach trying to figure out how he got 'caught up' for 5 hours. Don't want to suspect the worse, but at best he was just wildly inconsiderate and didn't even think to let anyone know where he was for the last 4-5 hours. At worse he was playing tonsil hockey with some random girl.

I'm sure the truth is some where in the middle. He was probably fully aware of the fact that he wasn't letting anyone know where he was and decided to just stand around and talk with someone from the club for the last several hours, or maybe went to dinner or drinks or something. Either way; this is fucked up and I don't know what to do about it.

I can't decide if I should jump his shit the second he walks through the door about being an asshole or if I should just let it slide because I know he's depressed and hasn't barely left the house in weeks as it is. I feel like throwing up and he's taking his time coming home.

What the fuck.
.

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