I'm feeling sorry for myself. I've been feeling sorry for myself for awhile and I felt bad about it for awhile because there was really nothing wrong with my life for me to be so 'oh woe is me' about. I was being a whiney bitch.

And now my Grandma's sick. My grandmother who is one of the few people left on the planet who has not abused, abandoned or otherwise betrayed me. My grandmother is a tiny spitfire of a woman who has lived a hard knock life and kept her wits and sense of humor about her the entire time. Now she's reliant on tubes pumping her full of oxygen, chemicals and a strict diet just to keep her going from day to day. That didn't really slow her down much though.

Here we are again; mystery sickness. We've already got emphysema, diabetes and old age working against her and now we've added some sort of colon/intestinal trauma that is causing vomiting and rectal bleeding.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?

I will never forgive myself if something happens to her during her procedure tomorrow while I'm sitting around waiting to flip my tassel from one side of my cap to the other.
.

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